questions of lonely despair

God, please help me make sense of life.

what will i do after grad school? there are US govt jobs that seem interesting in public health, but part of me itches to fulfill the international pull, to be a "citizen of the world" again... where will i work? how will i pay back my debts? who will i be with? will i have community? will i just be a boring us person who settled for the repetitive grind due to debts and not thinking outside of the box? will i go to africa, latin america, russia, etc ? will i have a community? a life companion? will i be satisfied, will i have fun or use my gifts? will all of life be suffering and dissatisfaction? will my friends be geographically close by and create a community or will i be the only one left behind, bitter, disconnected, wishing we were closer so we could help each other? will my brother and i still be close? will we both be bitter? will our parents ever come to know You, God? will hope, faith and love be evident and alive in my life?

disclaimer: i realize that these questions may not be the most encouraging, and there is more to faith than despair and questions. life is full of joys and pain so perhaps someone will rejoice if they relate and know they are not alone.. or we can all reflect and laugh after it's all resolved. but this is where i was today and wanted to share.

everything

He knows everything
Every single little thing
Whether or not you bring
It up to Him in prayer
Whether or not you think it’s fair

 He knows everything, every single little thing
 Every little thing between you and I , between her and I, between him and I
He knows about your evil eye, you being that boastful guy with the lustful eye
When you get drunk and high or when you so tired you wanna die
Every single tear you cry
 And every time you tell a lie
 How many days you before you die
And what you didn’t say cuz you’re shy
 When decisions got you torn
When your computer downloads porn
Knows when to give you a daily portion of bread
The number of your skin cells
 and hairs on your head
And even things you can’t remember
Might as well surrender
 He knows everything
 When you wanna kill your brother or cheat with another
 Every time you give a gift
 Or cut your shift short
Every question of your life
 Let him answer
 He knows everything,
Every single little thing
 When you dance around the tree ,
Or lie saying "it wasn’t me";
The questions you have yet to ask
He will give you strength for the task

He knows everything
Let Him be your every thing
 Let Him come repair the pain
So you don’t gotta live in vain
Pushing needles in your veins
Or drowning sorrows in champagne
When everything else dies,
Only He’ll remain

 He knows everything
Every single little thing
Whether or not you bring
 It up to him in prayer
Whether or not you think it’s fair
 He knows everything,
 Every single little thing
 Every little thing between you and I , between her and I, between him and I..
He knows everything
Let Him be your everything
Let Him be your only thing
Let Him be your lonely thing
Let Him be your everything
Because He is the king
Who made everything.